Want to become a writer? Want to read a story? Here you can do both! You can write your own story or you can read other members stories!
 #135901  by Frog
 
This is a short preview on the KR book. I bet that you can't guess who this member is!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
STAR WARS
THE KNIGHTS
Book one: The Knights Reborn.

Admiral Sharm Golran stood at the bridge of The Predator; hands clasped behind his back, and stared at the unfamiliar stars before him. His heavily modified Frigate that he so adored was attacked out of nowhere by a Sith fleet that must have been waiting for him on his route to Courscant. The Predator was seriously outnumbered and was forced to flee, but at the cost of severe damage to his hull. They had jumped into lightspeed despite the fact that this region of the galaxy was not mapped or explored before. Though they were lucky they had not collided with anything on the way there, especially given the fact that they now found themselves staring at asteroids and debris. Now, they waited, suspended in space and attempting repairs. Despite the fact that he was sure he already knew, he turned to his second in command and asked, “Is there a way to send a coded signal to any nearby planets? ‘’ He shook his head. “If the Sith are waiting for us, sir, then any signal at all would be cause for some suspicion. They would triangulate our comm frequency and find us within minutes. ‘’ Sharm nodded, and sighed. The only possible things to do now was to either further explore this region in hopes of a hiding place, and then send the signal, or he could wait for repairs and attack the Sith. He shook his head, the former was foolhardy and too risky. He looked over his shoulder at the pilot’s station. “Helmsman, ‘’ he said. ‘’ Go half speed and find a place to hide us. We’ll send out help once we are hidden. ‘’ He nodded. The ship lurched forward with sluggish speed.
Sharm doubted that the Sith would be stupid enough to go after them, but there was no way for The Predator to slip out of this area unnoticed. The Sith had them cornered, but they had no idea where at in this unknown region. A stalemate. The ship had gone fifty meters from their original position, and hope slithered through Sharm as he saw a asteroid with a large hole, dipping in so much that it had turned essentially into a cave. He pointed out the viewport. ‘’Helmsman, straight head. Back into the cave so we have a view out. ‘’ The ship shuddered again as it picked up speed. His second-in-command looked dubious. ‘’ Sir, ‘’ he said. ‘’ If they find us in there, we will have nowhere to go. ‘’ Sharm smiled grimly at him. ‘’ We have nowhere to go now, Siahm. This is our best bet for defense right now. ‘’ Siahm nodded. By now, they had reached the asteroid; it’s thick and uninviting terrain intimidating the crew. The Helmsman turned the ship but kept forward momentum towards the asteroid. They smoothly slid into the rock, the back end of The Predator going as far as possible into the depths of darkness that would hopefully provide visual protection.
After a hour of silence, Sharm gave the ok to activate the communications. The Rodian manning the communications hailed any planets loyal to the Republic. After thirty standard minutes, a hologram of what looked like a human male emerged from the Holocom table. The communications man waved Sharm over. ‘’ Greetings, ‘’ he said. Voice and picture garbled. ‘’ I am General Satnern of the Republic on Courscant, who am I speaking to? ‘’ Sharm leaned forward. ‘’ Greetings, General, I am Admiral Sharm Golran. Commanding The Predator. I was inbound on Courscant when I was attacked by a Sith fleet. I was forced to take desperate measures and am now in a unknown region just outside of Bakura. They have my Frigate cornered. ‘’ Satnern stood in silence, pondering this. Sharm continued. ‘’ I have just completed my mission on assisting with protecting a Republic Orbital Station above Sullust, and I am now on my way to return to Courscant for my reward. ‘’ Finally, Satnern said, “You’re a freelancer? ‘’ Sharm shook his head. ‘’ Sometime Bounty Hunter and hand for hire. ‘’ Satnern considered this, and seem to consult something Sharm could not see through the holo imagine. “You said your name was Sharm Golran? ‘’ Sharm was flustered. ‘’Yes! ‘’ he said. ‘’ Now can you send help? ‘’ After some long moments, Satnern slowly shook his head. ‘’ Sharm Golran… You are wanted by the Republic for stealing Jedi artifacts and sacking Republic trading posts. And, let’s see… for threatening Senator Ayma Sensoya of the Mon Calamari system, for---- ‘’ the comm blinked out by Sharm’s command. He slammed a closed fist on the table. “Blast! ‘’ he growled. There was tension in the silence that followed, and Sharm’s second-in-command hesitantly stepped to his side. “Should I prepare an away team to secure the inside of the asteroid? “ Sharm sighed. They had broken comm silence in the hope that someone could help them with the Sith. Now, no matter what, they had no help and no way out, unless there was something that could be of help in the asteroid, though he doubted it. But then again, there were no other options anyway. He motioned with his hand, and his second-in-command turned and walked out the bridge. He turned from the viewport and looked at the entirety of the bridge’s crew. ‘’ Everyone, power down. Keep our signature level low. ‘’ He looked out the viewport once more, before the lights dimmed, and durasteel panels slid down, blocking his view. Now, they were to wait.

Sergeant Morran Iroth lead the away team on the asteroid, all of them wearing sealed Vac suits and trying not to trip with all of the pieces of durasteel laying on the ground. As they looked around, their headlights revealed strange objects; Shattered Blaster Pistols, supply caches that hung from the makeshift ceiling, broken search lights, and… What looked like a temporary fire was still burning. “How is that possible? “One of Morran’s men said. ‘’ There is no way that a fire can be going in dead cold space! “Morran had a very bad feeling about this. But there was no time to be hung up on that. He tore his gaze away from the lit fire and continued to search for anything useful. He had walked twenty paces away from the majority of the search team before noticing a strange creature, hiding in a opening gap on the ceiling. His lights did not have enough range to reveal what it was, so he took some steps forward. The Light intensified, and he now saw what looked like a hawkbat, though it had burning yellow eyes that was not a shared characteristic with most known hawkbats, but Morran sternly reminded himself that they were in the unknown region; he was to expect nearly anything. But the eyes of the hawkbat now almost glared at him, sending shivers down Morran’s back. Morran was not sure if it was hostile, so he just ignored it, passing below the hanging creature. It was only after another set of thirty paces that he saw perhaps the strangest thing in this arcane cave; It was a woman, clad in dark, scaly armor. She lay on her back, evidently sleeping. Morran was nearly paralyzed with the sheer obscurity of this. She had no helmet nor air tanks, didn’t have zero gravity compensation boots, or any of the equipment needed to traverse space. He knelt down and gently shook her shoulder. “Ma’am? “He said. She did not awaken or even groan in response. His comlink must have been still on, because he heard ‘’ Ma’am? What is he talking about? ‘’ Soon he heard footsteps coming towards him, and that was another thing; he could hear muffled sound even through his helmet. He was sorely tempted to take it off and see if the air was breathable, but he knew the risks and decided against it. His comlink crackled again. “Sir? “Morran heard. “I have found something you might want to see. “ tearing his gaze from the woman, he saw one of his men holding up a amulet of some kind. He got up from his kneeling position and started towards it. Even from a few feet away, he saw the amulet glowing red and white. It looked like some treasure out of a holodrama that was worth fortunes upon fortunes. He covered the distance between them, and now took a closer look at it. It was richly defined, with durasteel lining around a ruby crystal. In it, white lettering was inscribed on it. “It says ‘Knights’ “Morran said. “Must belong to the Jedi. Probably ancient. “He began to tuck it in his pocket when he felt a vibroblade jam itself into his back. He screamed and fell, the amulet falling from his hands. Agonizing pain shot through him, making it unbearable to move. He managed to look up as his vision grew hazy and saw the woman slaughtering his crew, a hood now pulled over her head. He saw his crew die one after another in a blur of seconds. Morran looked down at the area he was punctured, and saw green smoking rising from the bloody hole. He was in too much pain to ponder about it, and, as he realized he couldn’t move, he knew that he was about to die. He tried to activate his comlink and get a line over to The Predator, but his comlink was abruptly jerked out of his hand. He saw it tumble away, and noticed that a knife was thrown through it. He was fading rapidly, and as he saw the woman mercilessly killing the last one, he realized that the crew of The Predator would be helpless to defend themselves from this woman’s unnaturally fast and brutal attacks. The room grew silent as she looked around the area. She must have noticed he was still conscious but barely so, because she now strode towards him. She knelt next to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt. “Where are they? “She said with a distinctively feminine voice. Morran failed to deliver voice but the meaning dwelled upon her anyway. “The other Knights, ‘’ She said. “Where are you keeping them? ‘’ But Morran was already gone.
Last edited by Frog on Tue Nov 03, 2015 8:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
 #135904  by Frog
 
Remember, this is probably my first book written. So you all just let me know what you think, m'k?
 #135908  by jawfin
 
Hey Froggy, I do have to start with one thing - one very important thing, the layout. Meeting a wall of text is very daunting. So keep the paragraphs shorter, and put a blank line between them. This is easier to read: -


Admiral Sharm Golran stood at the bridge of The Predator; hands clasped behind his back, and stared at the unfamiliar stars before him. His heavily modified Frigate that he so adored was attacked out of nowhere by a Sith fleet that must have been waiting for him on his route to Courscant. The Predator was seriously outnumbered and was forced to flee, but at the cost of severe damage to his hull. They had jumped into lightspeed despite the fact that this region of the galaxy was not mapped or explored before. Though they were lucky they had not collided with anything on the way there, especially given the fact that they now found themselves staring at asteroids and debris.

Now, they waited, suspended in space and attempting repairs. Though sure he already knew, he turned to his second in command and asked, “Is there a way to send a coded signal to any nearby planets? ‘’ He shook his head. “If the Sith are waiting for us, sir, then any signal at all would be cause for some suspicion. They would triangulate our comm frequency and find us within minutes. ‘’ Sharm nodded, and sighed. The only possible things to do now was to either further explore this region in hopes of a hiding place, and then send the signal, or he could wait for repairs and attack the Sith. He shook his head, the latter being foolhardy and risky. He looked over his shoulder at the pilot’s station. “Helmsman, ‘’ he said. ‘’ Go half speed and find a place to hide us. We’ll send out help once we are hidden. ‘’ He nodded. The ship lurched forward with sluggish speed.

Though Sharm doubted that the Sith would be stupid enough to go after them, there was no way for The Predator to slip out of this area unnoticed. The Sith had them cornered, but they had no idea where at in this unknown region. A stalemate. The ship had gone fifty meters from their original position, and hope slithered through Sharm as he saw a asteroid with a large hole, dipping in so much that it had turned essentially into a cave.


____________

A minor thing also, you start 3 sentences with the word "Though" - an uncommon word used so strongly tends to jump out, just be mindful of that too :)
 #135909  by Frog
 
Alrighty, thank you, Jawfin!
And also, the member being introduced is a council member and one I find to be essential to keeping this interesting.
Additionally, are you the one who CREATED KR as a server? or was it Falcon?
Also I may or may not have to ask all KR members to make a Star warsy name because things like '' Cooco '' and '' Toon '' and " Jawfin " doesn't sound like you'd find it in a Star wars book. :P
 #135920  by jawfin
 
Hmm, KR history - there's a thread on that somewhere. The clan is now about 12 years old, I have been in it for about 7 years. In fact, it's so old I only met one of the original founders, Fluffy, once. So I am a third generation leader, as is Falcon - although she's been in longer than I.
 #135931  by Frog
 
Well, that's good and very bad news, Jawfin. Thanks! :D




P.S I'm your biggest fan.
 #135984  by Difionex
 
''Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan'' -Eminem

Well so far so good^^
Will I get the closed beta if I will pre-order your book? Also will the season pass come with it because I don't want to buy any DLC's.
 #136004  by Frog
 
Well, the thing is, EVERYONE will get the DLC. I will create a past, present, and future for KR. :D stay tuned for more!
 #136008  by Frog
 
Additionally, I may need help with Star wars experts-- The Old Republic is a incredibly vast era compared to the others-- Clone wars, Rebellion, New Jedi Order, etc.
I do not know ALL of the vehicles, so any help is welcome and encouraged! this is also dependent on KR members to voice their opinions on the story; and most definitely your character.
Also, this book takes place AFTER your guys' adventure. As said, I will be making fictional origin too.
 #136543  by StarHunter
 
StarKiller StarHunter you'd find my name in a book :P Lol I'll have to read it later doh.
 #136545  by Frog
 
This is a outdated preview; check out the other! Preview part 2, I think.
 #136555  by Frog
 
I meant no offense to him, Gollum. Just wanted to state that there is sa better preview out there. Anywho, it is slightly bigger than this one, Hunter, and better polished. I think you'll enjoy it more! :D