[Delev]

Yes that's right folks! Step right up and tell your funniest jokes! Don't be shy now! I'll just put one in here to break the ice~

A burglar breaks the window of a house when the owners are on vacation. The living room is completely dark, and he hears a voice.
"God is watching you!" Said the voice.
He flips on the light and it turns out to be a parrot.
"Are you god?" Said the burglar to the parrot.
"No, I'm Edward." Said the parrot.
The burglar paused to think.
"What kind of person names their parrot Edward?" Asked the burglar.
"I don't know, the same person who names their Rotweiler God!" Said the parrot.

[FlapJack23]

An old grandmother, a little girl, the pope, and George Bush are all on a plane together. The plane is rapidly descending and is about to crash, but there is only enough parachutes for three people.

The pope grabs a parachute, says, "The world of Christianity needs me", and leaps out of the plane.

George Bush grabs a parachutes and says, "The free world needs me!", he too leaps out of the plane.

The old gramndmother says to the little girl, "You can take the last parachute, I'm old and I've lived my life, and it would be better if you survived". The little girl replies, "It's alright granny, we can both take a parachute, Mr. Bush took my backpack".

[Zabuza]

rofl flap,

im not funny sooo gl

[ShadowMan]

George Bush grabs a parachutes and says, "The free world needs me!"

That's a joke already =)
Ok, here's mine:

A scotsman goes to a bar in Cuba. After passing some time there, a man with a big black beard walks in. He orders a drink, drinks it quickly and is about to leave.

"Hey, aren't you going to pay for that?" the bartender asked.
The man turns and says: "Castro's army."
"Oh, OK. It's fine." the bartender replies. The bearded man leaves.

Soon after, another man with a black beard comes in. He, too, orders a drink, drinks it and after that heads to the door.

"Are you going to pay for that drink?!" the bartender shouted again.
The bearded man turns and replies: "Castro's army."
"Ah, my mistake. Everything's in order." says the bartender.

The scot got an idea. He walked to the counter and ordered a whiskey. After drinking it he headed to the door.

"Hey, buddy. Pay for your drink!" the bartender barked.
The scot turned and said: "Castro's army."
"That's not true," the bartender replied "Castro's men have all black beards!"

After quick thinking the scotsman lifts his kilt and says:

"Secret service."

[Richard]

George Bush grabs a parachutes and says, "The free world needs me!"

That's a joke already =)
Ok, here's mine:

A scotsman goes to a bar in Cuba. After passing some time there, a man with a big black beard walks in. He orders a drink, drinks it quickly and is about to leave.

"Hey, aren't you going to pay for that?" the bartender asked.
The man turns and says: "Castro's army."
"Oh, OK. It's fine." the bartender replies. The bearded man leaves.

Soon after, another man with a black beard comes in. He, too, orders a drink, drinks it and after that heads to the door.

"Are you going to pay for that drink?!" the bartender shouted again.
The bearded man turns and replies: "Castro's army."
"Ah, my mistake. Everything's in order." says the bartender.

The scot got an idea. He walked to the counter and ordered a whiskey. After drinking it he headed to the door.

"Hey, buddy. Pay for your drink!" the bartender barked.
The scot turned and said: "Castro's army."
"That's not true," the bartender replied "Castro's men have all black beards!"

After quick thinking the scotsman lifts his kilt and says:

"Secret service."

quality

I got some jokes but I dunno how safe they are here

[Darfin]

You can write em in Microsoft Word, and attach em. Make sure you give a proper warning (I don't know how inappropriate were talking about"

[Chantelle]

Richards jokes are often very badly on the spot puns or controversal jokes.. nothing too bad


HOWEVER

If its jokes which he hears from his rugby friends dont bother.. Those guys are totally sick..

[Fazz]

hmmmm, im like darf and rich, my jokes are/ can be disturbing, lol, so u will have 2 settle with this:


this joke is so bad, but only 1 i can think of that wont get me in trouble, lol

4 butt ugly people are riding on a bus, they are going round a cliff, when suddenly the bus falls down the cliff face, the 4 people die.

when they get to the gates of heaven, they meet st. peter. he says 'since u are all gunna be accepted into heaven, you may all get one wish'

the first dude says 'Nice, i wish i looked like jonny depp' BOOM POW WAZZ it happened

the fourth dude sniggered

the second person said 'i wish i looked like brad pitt' WAZZ BOOM POW it happened

the fourth person started to laugh

the third person steps up and says 'i wish i looked like kira knightly' POW WAZZ BOOM it happened

now the 4th person was laughing is head off

st peter said to him, 'whats so funny?',

the dude replied, 'coz, i wish they all looked like this guy'

[Delev]

Rofl

[Eagle]

lolol

[ShadowMan]

xD

[saunby]

Ahahahahah nice jokes xD

[Chantelle]

Okay a little rude this one
WARNING

4 nuns die and go to heaven

at pearly Gates St Peter meets them as they queue

1st nun:

St Peter: have you ever had anything to do with the male genitals

1st Nun: well .. erm I did once see one

St Peter: go to the holy water bath overe there and wash your eyes and your clean to enter heaven


She does so and walks into heaven

He then asks NUN 2 the same question

2nd Nun: I accidentally touched one once

St Peter: go to the holy water and wash your sinned hand and you may enter



All of a sudden tehe 4th nun last un the queue darts out of line and charges in the water drinking and garggling the watrer

St peter: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?

4th Nun: Washing my mouth before the 3rd Nun sticks her Ass in it

[saunby]

Ahahaha

Nice one Chan! xD

[Delev]

Hahahaha!

[NinjaSarah]

ROFL! These jokes are priceless XD

I got one, but it'd be better if it were told, rather than typed xP but here goes; and be warned.. It's kind of long.


Three men are in line to get into Heaven. God asks each of them how they died.

He asks the first man, and he says, "Okay, I thought-- I KNEW my wife was cheating on me. I got home from work and I heard someone on the roof, I knew it was the man my wife was having an affair with and I went up and chased after him. I chased him to the edge and I got him to fall down.. But he got a hold of the gutter. So I stomped down on his hands and I got him to fall... But then he fell on a bush and survived..
So, I got my refrigerator and dropped it on him! But.. I fell along with the refrigerator.."

God says "Okay, okay.. Next?"

The next man stepped up, and says, "Right, so I was called to work on this man's roof, and I was peacefully working.. When all of a sudden this crazy guy comes onto the roof and chases me to the edge and makes me fall! But thank you, God, I managed to grab a hold of the gutter... But then he stomps down on my hands and I fall! But, thank you again, God, I fell into some bushes.. But then he went and dropped his refrigerator on me! And that's how I died."

God nods and says "Interesting indeed. Next?"

Finally, the third man stepped up, and says,

"Oh, man! You are not gonna believe this! Okay, so, picture this; I was sitting BUTT-naked in this guy's refrigerator........"


kekeke

[Melissa]

lol good one

Although how the first guy die?

[Cross]

Lmao sarah =P nice joke

[NinjaSarah]

Lol I forgot to put in how the first one died.. thanks for pointin it out Melissa ^^ *Huggies* It's been updated.

[Vampire]

Rofl =D I'm laughing for 10 mins already =)

[FlapJack23]

Bill Gates was watching his son write in his notebook. His son got up and shut the notebook. Bill was shocked! "Wait!! Did you save your work," Bill exclaimed. His son looked at him and said, "Don't be silly dad, it's still there." His son opened up to the page which his work was on, and suprisingly the work was still there! Bill Gates grabbed the notbook, held it up to the sky, and shouted

This is the future!!

[Delev]

Lol flap!